


Remus Fights the Dragon Witch

by pulchrasilva



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Gen, I like to think I'm funny, Imagination, Morally Neutral Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Movie Night, Quests, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, very mild angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulchrasilva/pseuds/pulchrasilva
Summary: “Remus, I swear to Disney! Give me back my sword!”This did nothing to stop Remus, not that anyone expected it to. The Side just giggled manically, “I’m gonna fight the Dragon Witch!”The title says it all. Remus fights the Dragon Witch and chaos ensues.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, No Romantic Relationship(s), platonic DRLAMP
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	Remus Fights the Dragon Witch

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DragonSaphiraReads' writing competition.
> 
> Prompt: As an audience we only see snippets of the daily interactions of the sides of Thomas' personality. Write an interaction that has happened off camera between them, whether it be a disagreement, a funny moment or something more.
> 
> You can also find this fic on my Tumblr (@pulchrasilva) Come say hi!
> 
> Warnings: mild violence towards a mythical animal, swords, mild injury, magically induced sleep?

Logan, Patton, Virgil and Deceit were simply eating breakfast like any other day when Remus ran through the kitchen waving a sword in the air. Roman could be heard not far behind, shrieking “Remus, I swear to Disney! Give me back my sword!”

  
This did nothing to stop Remus, not that anyone expected it to. The Side just giggled manically, “I’m gonna fight the Dragon Witch!”

  
Patton watched in amusement at the twin’s antics and Logan glanced up disinterestedly. Deceit didn’t bother to pay them any attention and Virgil probably didn’t even hear them through the music blasting out of his headphones.

Roman chased his brother around the living room, completely shattering the peaceful morning. It was too early in the morning to be dealing with this, but the Sides knew from experience not to get between the two of them. Remus leapt over the couch but Roman ran right into it and tumbled over the edge, sprawling on the floor. The Duke began to sprint towards the door leading to the Imagination, laughter echoing down the corridor. The Prince was left behind, winded and defeated. “My _sword_ ,” he muttered in despair.

  
“Aw, kiddo,” Patton chirped sympathetically, “I’m sure he’ll return it when he’s done!”

  
“Why would Remus even need your sword?” asked Logan, finally pulling his head out of his novel. “He has his mace, does he not?”

  
“It has a sleeping draught on it, so I don’t actually kill the Dragon Witch when I take her down,” Roman explained as Patton slipped out of his chair to help him up. “If he were to hurt one of my creations, I would make him regret it, sorely. Even Remus knows not to risk that and nothing he did could make me forgive him.” The Creative Side waved his arms and collapsed onto the couch that had been his downfall.

  
“You don’t mean that, Ro,” Patton murmured, looking worried at the mention of _killing_. Just what did ‘fighting the Dragon Witch’ actually involve? If this something Roman did on a regular basis, it couldn’t be too bad, could it?

  
“I do,” Roman muttered darkly at the same time as Deceit said, “He’s telling the truth,” still not looking up from his breakfast. The Prince cared a great deal about the things he made, and the Dragon Witch was by far his favourite. Besides, the twins were practically looking for excuses to argue with each other. Patton fell silent.

  
Remus didn’t come out for a while. At first, everyone watched the door expectantly, waiting for the Side to burst out excitedly, chattering about how epic he had been as he swung the sword around ‘like a ninja’, or something along those lines. Even Virgil pulled off his headphones after he had heard what was happening.  
Almost an hour later, they had mostly lost interest in the door. Logan had turned back to his book and Virgil was playing with a fidget cube in his lap. Everyone had finished eating and boredom was beginning to set in. Still, none of them left the room – it wasn’t like any of them had anything better to do, today being one of Thomas’ rare breaks from work. And when the Sides did something, they did it as a family, so even with something as unimportant as this nobody would be leaving.

  
“Why don’t we watch something while we wait for Remus?” Patton suggested brightly.

  
“Sure,” Virgil shrugged. Nobody had any objections, so the Moral Side scrambled to set up the TV.

  
Soon enough, the first episode of Steven Universe was playing. The Sides all watched as the Crystal Gems were attacked by a giant, acid-spitting Centipeetle. Patton and Roman sang along to the song and Virgil joined in, only semi-reluctantly. Logan couldn’t refrain from making comments about the flawed logic of the show, but even he and Deceit seemed to be enjoying it.

  
But half way through the first series, Virgil couldn’t help the way he kept glancing towards the corridor Remus had disappeared down. It had now been over an hour, but there was still no sign of the Duke. He knew there was probably nothing wrong; Remus had probably just gotten distracted by something. This happened surprisingly often, his short attention span just couldn’t stay on one thing for very long.

  
Still, Virgil was worried. What if something had happened? There was no way to tell, the Imagination was sound-proof. Remus could be injured. He could be bleeding out somewhere and they wouldn’t even know! Oh God, what if he was _dying_?

  
Deceit turned his head to see Virgil fidgeting and repeatedly glancing towards the door into the Imagination. “Virge?” He said in concerned, drawing the others’ attention to the situation.

  
“You alright, kiddo?” Patton asked quietly as his counterpart began to rub small circles on the Anxious Side’s back. “What is it?”

  
Roman knew what was wrong – the same thought had been playing on his mind for a while now. “It’s Remus, isn’t it?” Virgil just nodded shakily.

  
“He has been gone for quite a long time,” Logan noted, adjusting his glasses. “I sure he’s fine, but perhaps if we were to check on him it would ease your apprehension.”

  
“I agree!” Roman declared, already making his way toward the entrance into the Imagination.

  
As soon as the door was flung open, and cacophony of noise exploded from the Imagination. The sound of objects hitting the floor was overshadowed by deep, guttural roars and Remus’ terrified screams. Or maybe that was just the sound of him having fun.

  
Unsure, Roman peered inside to find his brother dashing around the Dragon Witch’s enormous cave, desperately trying to escape the monster hot on his heels. Remus had clearly given up fighting her, instead running up and down piles of coins and jewels that shifted with every step, nearly making him tumble down the slopes. It was a miracle he had kept his balance so long, but Roman knew he wouldn’t be able to stay out of her claws for much longer.

  
“Remus!” The Prince yelled, drawing his attention to the open doorway. Remus changed direction, heading towards escape as quickly as he could. The Dragon Witch scrambled to follow him, sending coins flying far into the darkness, where they hit rock with faint chinks.

  
Roman watched in horror as she began to gain on the Side, who was beginning to tire. During the hunt, several of the torches that illuminated the cave, extinguishing them as they were buried in treasure. The shadows they left behind made the scaled beast look even more terrifying than usual, saliva dripping from the lips pulled back in a snarl and clawed hands glinting in the half-light. Clawed hands that were going to tear Remus to shreds. For the first time ever, Roman wished he hadn’t been so meticulous over his creation.

  
Remus was only a few metres away from the door when he slipped. Horrified, Roman darted out to grip his shoulder and practically drag him out of the Imagination. The exhausted Side was still clutching the sword and there was something purple in his other fist. But Roman didn’t pay it any attention, he had to focus on getting out of there. The coins across the floor made it so much harder to move but they finally stumbled through the doorway and back into the Mindscape.

  
As they crossed the threshold, Remus let out a crow of triumph and, finding the solid ground suddenly so much easier to run on, began a victory lap around the living room, suddenly having an obnoxious amount of energy again.

  
Roman, however, stayed behind and watched as the Dragon Witch continued to canter towards the doorway. Normally, once her prey passed into the main Mindscape, she would lose interest in the chase. But this time she kept going, faster and faster. And dear Zeus, she was massive, even on all fours she was well over six foot. The figure seemed to grow as she neared, eyes glowing crimson with slits for pupils down the middles. Roman was frozen, staring at the approaching beast with both terror and admiration for his work. The Dragon Witch was vaguely humanoid, what looked to be a beautiful lady covered in a hide of shining red scales. A tail sprouted from the base of her spine that swept from side to side as she moved, sending gold tumbling across the floor. Her arms reached forwards with each stride, showing off the fingers that extended into razor sharp talons.

  
Finally, the Prince realised that the Dragon Witch was not going to stop – she intended to force her way into the Mindscape! Suddenly, the purple object in Remus’ hand didn’t seem quite so unimportant any longer. Roman shook himself out of his stupor. He sprinted away from the doorway, trying to put as much distance between himself and the Dragon Witch. “Look out!” He cried, moments before the wall behind him exploded, chunks of plaster flying in all directions.

  
The reptilian woman burst into the living room. She was so huge that she had to keep her body close to the ground to avoid hitting her head on the ceiling, elbows and knees pointed upwards like some kind of obscene spider. Her head swivelled around before her eyes landed on Remus who had her amethyst held above his head boastfully. The Duke went pale. There was a moment when nothing moved, save for the Dragon Witch’s nostrils flaring. Then she snarled, face feral, and threw herself towards her treasure.

  
Remus darted out of the way of her greedy claws, causing her to slam face first into the wall. Logan could feel the vibrations in the floor when she collided. But the impact didn’t seem to bother her, she simply drew herself back and scrambled after Remus, following him into the kitchen. Her talons left deep gouges in the walls. The kitchen was so small that even the smallest move caused her to knock something over – the fridge had fallen forwards and her tail thrashed, sweeping the empty bowls off the draining board.

  
Remus cackled as he swung himself over the counter and back into the living room. He was having way too much fun with this. Logan hurried to take shelter behind the kitchen door as the Dragon Witch struggled to squeeze herself through the narrow gap to follow the Duke. Seeing this, Deceit wisely followed his lead, concealing himself under the relative protection under the dining room table. The Logical Side was already thinking of more protective spots they could hide. Perhaps the counter, if the Dragon Witch leaves the kitchen, it’s a much more solid object…

  
Remus scampered down the hallway leading to their rooms as the Dragon Witch clumsily spilled over the counter top. Virgil was crouched, trembling, behind the couch, out of the way of danger, but Roman and Patton were still standing, dumb-founded, out in the open. It was all happening so fast and neither knew what to do. As the Dragon Witch turned, her tail thrashed wildly, swinging towards them. Roman just barely managed to leap over it – the thing was at least as thick as his waist! – but the appendage struck Patton right across the chest, throwing him onto his back.

  
Roman dropped to his knees beside the Moral Side, who was wheezing painfully. As the clamour of the chase retreated further into the mindscape, Logan rushed towards them, already assessing the injuries.

  
Remus dashed through the other Sides’ rooms, ignoring the sound of the destruction caused by the creature behind him. Photos and memories fluttered through the air as the ordered chaos of Morality’s room was scattered, and there was a huge crash as Logic’s bookshelves toppled over. The Dragon Witch’s claws tore through the cobwebs in Anxiety’s room. _Well, at least we’re getting a bit of much needed spring cleaning done!_ Remus thought to himself. _Virgey_ _will be so happy! It's worth a few torn posters. Well, more than a few…_

  
He hadn’t expected much when he went to battle her, but this was _fun_! Honestly, he was impressed that his brother had managed to create something so monstrous. She wasn’t even trying to break anything, she was just so clumsy! It was kinda funny. But imagine what she could do if she _really_ wanted to hurt someone! Images of wounds oozing blood filled his head.

  
Adrenaline was pumping through Remus’ veins as he swung himself around corners. Still, he was beginning to slow. Being chased around the Mindscape three times today was really beginning to wear him down. All his excitement morphed into genuine fear. Suddenly, thoughts of being torn open were not so entertaining. The Sides may not be able to die, but it would be so painful.

Roman rose up in the corridor right in front of him, almost causing Remus to run right into him.

  
“Quick, Remus,” the Prince gestured frantically, “Give me the amethyst.”

  
Remus looked down, surprised to see the glowing violet crystal still clutched in his fist. He didn’t hesitate before passing the gem to his twin. Roman turned from him and sprinted away, leaving Remus to push himself into the wall out of the way of the Dragon Witch. She thundered after her most prized possession, now being carried by a much less exhausted Creative Side, no longer paying any attention to the Duke.

  
Remus followed at a much slower pace now, trying to catch his breath but not wanting to leave the others to fend for themselves. Because Remus had the sword which was the only weapon that Princey would allow to get anywhere near the Dragon Witch. Even without that rule, the only other means of defence, the mace and the shurikens, could only be summoned by Remus. And Roman seemed to be leading the creature back in the direction of the kitchen, where Deceit, Logan, Virgil, and Patton were unprotected. So Remus jogged at a steady pace behind them, hoping desperately that nobody was going to get hurt.

  
Roman ran for his life. He was going so fast that he had left his mind behind him, reacting on only pure instinct. There was no time to think, having to make a decision the instant a choice is presented: should he go left or right, go into the rooms or not? Thankfully, thinking was Logan’s area of expertise and not his, so he simply let his legs take him to where they thought best.

  
Which was apparently in a full circle back to the kitchen. When he got to the entranceway into the kitchen, he gave himself a second to look around the room, heart pounding violently. The others weren’t in sight, but Roman spotted what looked like the top of Deceit’s hat peeking out from behind the counter. He could only assume that they had all taken cover there when they heard the Dragon Witch down the corridor.

  
Roman dashed through the room, dread flooding him as his mind caught up and he realised that he had lead the Dragon Witch back to his friends. He crossed through to the other side of the living room, trying to get as far away from them as possible. Maybe they could sneak out behind her…

  
The Prince came face to face with a wall. A claw crashed down on his left causing him to turn the other way, only to find himself in the corner. Trembling slightly (not that he would ever admit it), Roman turned to see the maw of the Dragon Witch opening wide to roar her fury into his face. He blanched as he saw the rows of huge teeth that studded her jaws, each one like a vicious dagger. His breath quickened and he vaguely noted the smell of almonds and dead things filling his lungs.

  
Remus burst through the door to the sight of his brother cowering before the Dragon Witch. The look in her eyes spoke of a predatory fury that would not be quelled. The twins might fight constantly but seeing Roman cornered by the scaled beast made Remus’ heart beat so fast that it nearly exploded out of his chest.

  
For a long second, none of the Sides even moved, watching as the Dragon Witch drew herself back like a spring, ready to pounce. Then Deceit decided to take matters into his own hands. He leapt from his spot behind the counter, striding towards Remus and snatching the sword from the Duke’s limp fist.

  
The Lying Side was muttering under his breath about the incompetency of the people he shared a mind with as he stalked toward the Dragon Witch. He lifted the blade above his head and brought it down in a sweeping arch, slicing into the skin of her hind leg.

  
The Dragon Witch slumped forward almost instantly, putting her teeth too close to Roman’s face for comfort, before she collapsed at his feet.

  
“That was ridiculous,” his saviour hissed, frustrated. “You had a sword!”

  
“You didn’t hurt her, did you?” Roman asked, panicked.

  
“No, Roman,” Deceit drawled, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t hurt your monstrous pet that nearly devoured us all!”

  
Logan appeared from behind the counter as well, peering at the unconscious form on the floor. “I do not believe she is harmed badly,” He stated, “She appears to simply be sleeping.” As if to prove his words, the Dragon Witch let out a rumbling snore that vibrated in the floor boards. Roman visibly slumped in relief.

  
Remus, however, looked around the room in concern. He counted the Sides present and realised that two were missing. “Where are Virgil and Patton?”

  
“Do not worry,” Logan said, adjusting his tie which had gotten creased in the fray. “They are behind the counter.”

  
Remus hurried into the kitchen, not paying any attention to the shattered crockery across the room. He stopped dead when he saw Patton lying on the ground, clutching his ribs. “What happened to him?” Roman demanded from behind him.

  
“The Dragon Witch hit him with her tail,” Virgil muttered, clutching the injured Side’s hand.

  
Remus’ eyes widened. “Pat, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault! I didn’t mean to–”

  
“It’s okay, kiddo,” the Moral Side reassured him weakly, “I’m alright, just a bit winded.”

  
“Are you sure?” Remus asked quietly. He might have been obsessed with gore and blood, but he’d never wanted anyone to actually end up hurt–

  
“He’ll be fine, Remus, I promise,” Logan interrupted his internal monologue. “I looked over the injuries and it is most likely nothing but bad bruising.”

  
The Duke nodded, relieved but still felt a bit guilty. “Really though, I’m sorry. To all of you.” He looked each person in the eye as he said it, so that they could see the uncharacteristic sincerity there.

  
“It’s fine, Remus,” Roman told him graciously, “Just maybe think next time before you steal her amethyst.”

  
“Is _that_ why she went berserk?” Virgil asked incredulously, making Remus nod sheepishly.

  
“Interesting. I assume you drew inspiration from the mythological stories portraying dragons as hoarders.” Logan mused.

  
“Yep,” Roman flourished his arms proudly, “She has a tonne of other treasures in her cave, but this amethyst is her favourite.” He held up the glowing violet jewel to show off – in some ways he was just like his own creation.

  
“That is all very well, Roman,” Deceit inspected his nails through his gloves. “But did you have to make her so… hostile?”

  
The Prince glares at him. “Yes, actually. In case you hadn’t noticed, she is a _Dragon_ and a _Witch_.”

  
“I suppose we should be grateful you didn’t give her the ability to breathe fire,” Deceit mused.

  
“Oh, she can’t,” Roman shoots back, “but thank you for the ideas.”

  
“Uh,” Logan interjects, “Maybe lets not add any more destructive ability to the Dragon Witch. And you should definitely make the Imagination more secure, Roman. We can’t afford to have this happen again.”

  
Virgil helped Patton to his feet, allowing him to survey the damage done to the Mindscape. “Well, I’m glad that was over,” he said, surprisingly cheerfully for the situation. Perhaps he was just putting on a brave face. “It just seemed to _drag on_ and on!” Logan groaned at poor pun, but the others snickered. “But really,” Patton continued, “This place is a mess!”

  
“I say Remus has to tidy up!” Roman exclaimed immediately. “Since it’s his fault any of this happened in the first place.”

  
“Hey!” his brother protested.

  
“Now, Roman,” Patton admonished, “that’s not fair, he’s already apologised. We’ll tidy up together.”

  
“Fine,” Roman grumbled while Remus cackled in the background. “But you still have to put the Dragon Witch back in the Imagination!”

  
With that, they all set to work with few more complaints. The entire Mindscape had been trashed during the Dragon Witch’s rampage and they would have to start clearing the mess now if they wanted to get it done by the end of the day. They picked up all the broken bowls and put the fridge back in its rightful place. Logan was trying to figure out a way to get rid of the plaster on the floor and fix the wall leading to the Imagination. Everyone made sure that Patton didn't do too much in case he hurt his ribs anymore. For the moment nobody had touched the slumbering form on the floor, unsure how to move her back into her cave. They would cross that bridge when they came to it.

  
“Hey, Dee,” Remus called as he prodded the sleeping Dragon Witch with his foot, prompting the scaled Side to look up at him. “She looks like you!”

  
Deceit looked unimpressed but Virgil snorted into his hand. It was actually very true – scales covered her face and with her on her side like this you could almost imagine that her other half was human flesh. Even their eyes were similar.

  
Then Logan spoke up, “If all she wanted was the amethyst, why did we not just give it back to her?”

  
It was such an obvious solution that Roman began to chuckle and soon everyone was joining in, laughing as the tension left over from the incident dissipated.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed whatever this was! This is my first fic so feedback and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.


End file.
